Saturday, July 12, 2008

There's something about Mary....

Before I get into this post travel blog update, here’s a brief run down on my current affairs….
Still have not found work - although there are plenty of jobs out there - they just don’t pay very well at all. I’m holding out for a pay scale that will reflect my experience and knowledge. I have been trying to get into government type work in legislation, policy formation or computer IT stuff. To date, have not even had an interview. Mark has registered with about 8 different recruiters and keeps getting put forward for positions but they keep falling through. Whilst we don’t have jobs, we can not move into a place of our - very frustrating. Apparently the job market here gets better in September when people depart the coming cold in droves. As they say on League of Gentlemen, hokey cokey, pig and a pokie - good morning job seekers! ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDzKFk1l2ug )

The weather here is certainly not much chop - it’s a little like Melbourne where there can be four seasons in one day. Just this morning it was cold and wet - then it was windy and cloudy, now it’s bright and sunny. Whenever you go out - if you’re not sure when you will be home, you need to take a jumper or a coat just in case! According to forecasters, this is going to be one of the rainiest July’s on record!


Did someone order a Pisa?

One thing I forgot to say in the last blog, was us dropping into see the leaning tower of Pisa. The trip leader announced there was going to be a competition to see who could get the most creative picture with the tower in the background. Luckily, this was announced the day before we got there - Mark and I thought as one - we decided it was time to get Mary (the blow up sex doll my neighbours gave us) out from the suitcases under the bus. We had discussed pulling her out on the first day, but decided since we did not know what the people were like, we’d better hold off. We told one other person on the bus and had them help us take the picture.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leaning_Tower_of_Pisa

When we got to Pisa, we had to park a km or so away - there were people and dodgy hawkers every where The little town is in the middle of nowhere - the only real attraction there seemed to be the tower. We walked into the castled walls surrounding the tower and was amazed at how many people where there - several hundred - how could we get a blow up doll out in the middle of all this?

We scouted the tower and found a little blocked off area to the back of the main area - admittedly there will still lots of people about - not to mention armed guards mingling through the crowd. Slipping Mary out of the knapsack behind a pine tree, we administered the breath of life to her. I should point out at this stage that Mary (just like her namesake) is virginal and has a savvy dress sense - she is attired in a sexy negligee, kindly donated by our ex neighbour - the polish wrestler.

Once she was inflated, we scoped the coast was semi clear, and rushed out to position her holding the tower up - one of the most clichéd pictures a tourist takes at this site. After several happy snaps by Kate - our confidant - we rushed back to the cover of the trees. We snuck a peak round the tree and a whole school group of teenagers - and their teacher were staring and pointing. Needless to say, we quickly deflated her and fled the scene! Needless to say we won the photo comp!!

We introduced Mary to the rest of the bus a couple of days later. She was a great hit with everyone - not to mention our tour leader Heather. She began to worship her and would always ask that we bring her out on the town! Heather became so infatuated with her, she would even cuddle her on the bus , would mimic her voice and talk to the rest of the tour and would strap her in the jump seat - the seat which folds down next to the driver - and make her wave to passers by - it was worth it just to see some of their expressions.

Heather was a great guide - and we felt inclined to get her a gift at the end of the trip - and what better than a sex doll of her own! I cruised the sex shops of Amsterdam - will eventually get to that stage of the trip - feeling like a dirty old perve. I found a doll called Diana Stretch - excitedly fumbled my money out on the counter and took her back to the hostel. Just to see what she looked like, I blew her up. Unfortunately, I did not read the box properly - she was called stretch cos one of her legs sticks out at a right angle!! For those of you brave enough, you can google these keywords “Diana stretch doll” - I thought the picture was too crass to place here. NB - don’t do this on an AQIS PC!!!

Since she had been inflated, I thought it best not to return her to the sex shop. I debated with the rest of the room whether to give it to her or not - in the end we decided what the hell! We cracked her out on the bus on our last day - the reaction - she loved her!! She renamed her to Diana Damm - since that’s were she was “born”.

On the ferry from Calais to Dover, we got the two dolls out - in front of a heap of bewildered passengers - and reenacted the scene from Titanic!

Heather says she has a soft spot for Mary, but she loves Diana now. One thing for certain, she looks a lot classier when she is clothed - Diana that is - not Heather!

We recently caught up with Heather for a beer - she brought Diana with her to the pub! She had recently returned from another tour of Europe - she informed us that she made Diana the mascot for their trip - and the crew loved her! Diana (as does Mary [and Porky Paulina]) now have their own face books too!!

Anyway, this blog spot was a little side tracked - the next one WILL be about Rome!

Ciao!

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